My mate (poet, novelist and prison regular, Craig Bradley) reckons I sound like John Lennon. He only says it when he’s hammered though. I lived in Liverpool for a couple of weeks once, so I must have picked the accent up. I was kicked out of art college there too, fact fans. Last time I was there, it was to see a play at the Royal Court where I was sat next to the world’s most prolific streaker to watch him invade the stage sans his clothes ‘for a laugh’. True. I was working with him on his memoirs about getting his kit off aal awa the place at sporting events and other inappropriate gatherings. You may notice that the book isn’t on my list of forthcoming titles.

However, you may notice a new addition – The Fifth Pillar: The Extraordinary Pilgrimage of a Muslim Convertby Duncan Lyon. I met Duncan on Tuesday in Waterstone’s in L1 to sign the book up over poncey coffee (in glasses with nee handles, like) and bisquai (plural for biscuits, don’t you know). It’s not often that a story like this lands in your inbox. This is to be Duncan’s first published work and signed up through The McKernan Literary Agency & Consultancy in Edinburgh. This one will be out on 30 September, available on pre-order on the Tonto site and soon to be up on Amazon. I did get a photo of me and Duncan, but it’s too big to put up on here apparently. Any FaceBookers can see this and some comedy snaps taken round Liverpool once I upload them.

Info on the book:

February 2000.  Post-millennial optimism is still in the air.

Duncan Lyon is a 29 year old Scouse living in London. He has a good enough job, good enough friends, a good enough life. But, as he faces his 30th year, he realizes that something is missing.  

Having converted to Islam a number of years ago, he makes a spur of the moment decision that the time is now right to fulfil the once-in-a-lifetime duty – and privilege – that all Muslims have:  to perform the Hajj, the pilgrimage to Mecca during the holy month; the fifth pillar of Islam. 

So Duncan heads down to Leicester Square to buy a ticket to Saudi Arabia, and embarks on a journey that is extraordinary in so many ways, both in terms of the obstacles that confront him as a white Englishman who shows no outward signs of being a Muslim, and the array of characters – both fellow pilgrims and locals – that he encounters along the way.

And when he finally gets there, he discovers the true meaning of the old adage ‘Be careful of what you wish for’. For now he has to get back home.

Through a labyrinthine bureaucratic process – and his own internal conflicts and realizations as to what is truly important to him – he finds the sense of his spiritual awareness to be heightened. Conversely the mundane and practical difficulties he faces become greater and more imposing:  Encounters with the notoriously strict Saudi police, escaping house arrest, dealings with army checkpoints and finally the ‘privilege’ of pleading his case with inscrutable government ministers.

By the end, he is running across a runway in the middle of the night and the final scene finds him alone on a jetliner – the sole passenger on an eerily empty flight, leaving Saudi as a million more people arrive.

The Fifth Pillar is a unique account – a story that has never been told of a journey that most of us will never be able to experience. Beautifully written – atmospheric and immediate yet with the light touch that comes with the benefit of reflection and hindsight – this is more than just another travel book.

I know … I know …  two blog posts in two days. I must be stuck for things to do.

Info on Robert Endeacott’s latest novel, as mentioned yesterday. It’s up on pre-order on Amazon and on the Tonto website.

Bookseller piece on the book. Annoyingly, my PR said, ‘Avoiding the over-use of football cliches, Wheatman said …’ so the quote just makes me sound like a donkey, rather than comedy genius. And my original said the Shakespeare book had been brought forward, not bought. What can you do, eh? It’s the thought that counts, errr … at the end of the day (I’m at it again!).

Disrepute: Revie’s England

July 4^th, 1974: Don Revie decided to leave Leeds United to take over the England job from the sacked Sir Alf Ramsey.  His departure upset many while his England appointment was hardly met with universal approval either. A long list of enemies including the FA, the Football League and the media, meant managing the national team put him directly in the firing line.  His aim was to restore the nation’s team to its former heights, win over the fans, the doubters and the cynics … but he’d bitten off more than anyone could chew.

The odds were too great: the players, the tactics, the notorious dossiers, money, the mystery, the mayhem and the controversy meant that Revie’s dream was over in three unimpressive years.

Using explosively revealing and previously unpublished material written by the man himself, DisRepute is the true fictionalised account of Revie’s England.

Praise for Robert Endeacott and Dirty Leeds:

‘He writes without pretension, honest and unflinching. Born of dedication and passion.’ David Peace

‘Robert Endeacott has no concerns about stirring up controversy.’ The Yorkshire Post

‘An insightful account of the rise of Leeds United under Don Revie.’ Charles Hutchinson, The York Press

‘As a fiction this is groundbreaking stuff – and might yet make a better film than The Damned United. Highly recommended.’ Leeds Leeds Leeds

‘Part rite of passage and part homage to Revie, it reeks of beef-dripping, sooty black buildings and sherry-doused failure.’ Rick Broadbent, The Times

Some Sheila Quigley stuff to follow this week … keep your mince pies Howard Keeled.

A hectic start to the New Year in Tonto world. March already? WTF is that all about?

There’s been one or two ups and downs. Let’s start with the ups … Tonto has just signed a splendid new book for September: We Are Not Manslaughterers by Martin Knight.

Martin is a prolific writer with an interesting backlist here on amazon.

Here’s some info on the book:

Derby Day 1919 was a day of celebration in Epsom, Surrey, it being the first Derby Stakes to be run back in Epsom since the First World War broke out five years earlier. The euphoria of peace and relief rolled across a squally Epsom Downs. The return of the world’s most famous horse race to its rightful home was a sure sign that life generally was returning to normal. Close to a million people descended on the small rural town that afternoon. With the card finished and Grand Parade the 33-1 victor, the masses streamed home by train, bus, horse and cart and foot and the town’s pavements and pubs were left once again in peace to the locals.
 
Yet only fifteen days later twelve Epsom policemen found themselves defending their quiet, country police station against a 400-strong rioting mob in a vicious hour-long battle of Rorke’s Drift/Zulu proportions. At the end of it many were injured and the dependable Station Sergeant Thomas Green lay dead, his head cracked open from a vicious blow with a bar torn from the station’s own police cell.
 
However, the rioters were not drunken revellers from the racecourse or locals incensed by some injustice or other; they were soldiers, many who had seen gruelling action in France and Belgium and were loyal to the King. Canadian troops stationed at the nearby Woodcote Park Convalescence Camp were bent on releasing their comrades who had been arrested earlier in the evening and locked up in police cells following a minor disturbance in one of the town’s pubs.
 
The murder of a gallant policeman defending his station against the odds was a momentous event then, as it would be now, and never before or since has a policeman died in England at the hands of a mob on police property. Yet the media coverage was relatively subdued, public outrage contained and the path to justice tightly managed. No indictment for murder was ever made. Charges against five Canadians were reduced from manslaughter to riotous assembly and the defendants had been arrested, tried, sentenced, imprisoned, released and were on their way back to their homeland before the year was out.
 
We Are Not Manslaughterers traces the events that led to that final explosion of violence and frustration on June 17, 1919 and explores the reasons why the Government of the day were so keen not to allow the case to become a cause celebre. Future King Edward VIII was scheduled to tour the colonies, including Canada, to thank them for their extraordinary sacrifice for the mother country in World War One. To do this against a backdrop of Canadian soldiers being hung in prisons across Britain did not bear contemplation. Former Prime Minister Lord Rosebery, future Prime Minister Winston Churchill and the then incumbent Prime Minister David Lloyd-George are among the historical figures who were faced with the potential fall-out from the murder; the worst case scenario being the disintegration of the British Empire. Justice was not done for Sgt Green and even his murderer concurred with this.
Among a number of subsequent twists and turns, which include the two daughters of Sgt Green emigrating to Canada soon after, a confession to the murder ten years later and a backdrop of venereal disease this book also unearths a strand to the story which has never been publicly connected and explains even more why the authorities were so keen to wrap up and bury this case so hurriedly and completely as they did. Sgt Thomas Green, it emerges, was not the only fatality of the Epsom riot.
 
Martin Knight, author of Battersea Girl, Common People and George Best’s final autobiography has uncovered and illuminated a fascinating and entertaining slice of social history that is laced with intrigue and mystery as well as a formidable cast of late-Victorian characters.

Martin & Stu sign book deal in York

So, the celeby wedding book is off, Manslaughterers replaces it. A new one gets signed up for October on Tuesday, Shakespeare & Love moves forward to July, Faces was on, then off, then on now definitely off as is My Life on Mars – both due to ‘creative differences’. We’re also looking to get two books signed up by a non-fiction writer I have great admiration for – more news as it happens. So, we lost three titles in three days but gained two and looking to get two more. All good fun.

Robert Endeacott will soon be released from his writing prison if he manages to complete DisRepute: Revie’s England this weekend. He’s been struck down with a rarer form of man illness that I’ve never encountered yet and will be back in the land of the living very soon. His new book will be out in June.

Paperwork week: Accountanty stuff to the accountant, met with the designer about designery things… playing on Facebook…

Of course, Facebook is a brill networking tool and shouldn’t just be used to waste time. We all know that. Oh, and it’s royalty month. It’s a real joy to send royalties out cos I know what I’m like when a royalty cheque comes in. Although in my case, I rarely earn enough for a bag of chips and a can of pop (note to self: another resolution – write a book people will want to read), and PLR payments barely feed the cat.

My intention of reading through a few hundred manuscripts over Christmas didn’t quite work out. I did more sleeping and chocolate eating than reading, but I’d been a good lad in 2009 and earned a bit of time off. I’m through a lot of them anyway and making progress. 

I had a great reply from one author that, unfortunately, got a rejection letter. It’s not like I enjoy sending them out, but there must be at least some understanding that a smaller publisher cannot publish everything that comes in. After my ’soz and all that, but best of luck’ I got a reply saying ‘what a surprise’. It made me laugh for a bit… but it’s unreal that someone would think to send something like that back to a company they wanted to be published by. If he’d said ‘quel surprise’ I’d have been more impressed. The funniest bit was after I replied with ‘what an attitude’… he asked if I’d be interested in his other work! Priceless.

This year is all but scheduled. I’ve been updating the website with bibliographic data and there’s still a couple more to add, covers to add and a couple of publication date changes to make. There’s a possibility of a couple more non-fiction biog type books from some classic ‘Tonto outsiders’ that I’m hoping will fit into the autumn and then a novel that may get the green light too. 

I’m dead chuffed with the 2010 slate: Sheila Quigley’s next novel is in, I’ve got early drafts of a few others and all is good. Mike Kelly, writer of ‘Shakespeare & Love’ sent the first half of the book and it is an amazing read. Also in pre-production – Faces is going through the edit and Elliot at Preamptive is designing it – early mock ups are brill. ‘My Life On Mars’ is in the edit and looking good too. ‘Dirty Leeds’ is on its way to another reprint in a few weeks and ‘DisRepute’ (Robert’s next book) is being written for a June release. I may even let him out of the Tonto Dungeon at some point for a break if he’s good.

Rather than me ranting on about me me me all the time, if anyone is up to anything writery, give me a shout if you want to plug it on here.

You wouldn’t believe the number of drunken blog drafts I found here this morning. I’m kidding, really. My kidneys were moaning on at me over the holidays, so I had to indulge in eating chocolate and sleeping, rather than getting hammered every day and moaning about ‘Escape to Victory’ being on. Or not being on if it wasn’t.

The weather outside is frightful. Not the best start to a New Year in those terms, but I’m really looking forward to a great 2010. I was busy signing a few more books up as 2009 came to a close and I’ll hopefully be able to announce them on here shortly. I updated new books for this year on the website last night – really chuffed about them. So far, there are ten new books for the year with a likely four more to add and it means it’s going to be a busy year.

2009 was a bit of a mad one. There’d been ups and downs like every other, but I’d never felt so positive in absolutely yonks. And I haven’t said ‘yonks’ for yonks either. This time last year I’d all but moved out of the Newcastle office I shared with Paul (ex-Tontoer). I was relieved to get out of that building because I’d not liked it for a long while. As many of you will know, if you work in a space you don’t like, it becomes a nightmare trying to stay positive. At one point, we each had an oil-filled radiator under our desk, a ‘blankie’ each, the windows were bubble-wrapped up and the main heater blasting out… and still I had my parka on. Each time one of us went to the bogs, it was a ‘I may be some time’ moment. Ahhh, such memories. Moving out, I was a bit sad that there was a chapter closing but I was also looking forward to the challenge ahead. It was a bizarre feeling.

Me ‘n’ Paul started up back in 2005 and it was nice to see it grow from ‘a bit of a hobby’ into a publishing company with an office, albeit a cold one. I’d moved most of my stuff out of the office, but we still officially worked together until the end of 2008 and Big Ben signalled a lot more for me than just the start of a New Year. It was a new beginning.  As far as I could see, it was either call it a day and go back to bits of teaching and temping, pick up some freelance work along the way and torture myself forever… or put everything into making Tonto work. It had gone too far to just end it all.

So I thought I may as well give it a bash. It couldn’t get any worse than temping, surely. I moved everything out mid-January and that was it. I don’t think you can have such a personnel change and just carry on at the same level. I gave Tonto a right good kick up the arse (not literally, he’d probably have a knife on him) and spent time reinventing it all and seeing what could be done to keep it all going - physically a smaller company, but with bigger plans.

This year there’s that recession thing still going on and the last few weeks saw the closure of Borders forever. There are less opportunities on a local level now and I think there’s less chance of survival thinking local. I know there’s a long way to go, the odds are always stacked up and it’s always going to be a right old slog, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. I don’t see those as negatives anymore. Sure, I’m grumpier than ever, but inside I’m fired up to make it happen. 2009 taught me a lot about myself and a lot about how the industry works. With everything changing so often and nothing certain, I doubt even ‘the big lads’ have stopped learning or truly know what the future holds. That’s why I think there’s everything to play for and why (in some respects) I reckon a tiny indie can be in with a chance and certainly grab a couple of moments up there alongside them.

2009:

The three biggest books in September, October and November and three of the best launches for each in Leeds, Manchester and Newcastle respectively.

More media coverage than ever – loads of features in national newspapers and magazines, Charlie ‘The one-man PR machine’ Walduck on three national TV shows as well as one in Japan. Me featured on Look North TV news in a 40 foot stretch Hummer limo sipping champagne with ‘Shakespeare & Love’ author, Raymond Scott (seriously. Wasn’t my idea though) and Raymond continuing to court publicity everywhere he goes. Loads of stuff in the Bookseller magazine too – this one means the most as it lets everyone in the industry know you are alive and kicking. Big thanks to Tom Tivnan there for doing a brilliant Tonto feature; my proudest media moment so far. Also loads of local coverage in the news as well as on the radio.

Advertising – Jeez, I advertised on the front and inside cover of the Bookseller Buyer’s Guide last year. It was brill to see the Tonto logo on the cover! I made the most of it in case it never happens again.

Oh, and got a mention on Col Bury’s blog too – was dead chuffed with that! And who knows… we may have bagged one of them there Journal Culture Awards as well.

The release of 9987 in January restored my faith in publishing fiction. With a mixed opinion of New Writing North’s ‘Read Regional’ campaign and the book’s ‘promotion’, I was at least pleased that it gave Nik Jones some author recognition and he’s done several events throughout the year. Publishing that book made me see the other side of promotion – word of mouth and the want for a well-written, good story – rather than having a concept book and chucking a £500,000 marketing budget at it.

Before this turns into an ‘isn’t everything brilliant?’ post, last year really made me take notice of and want to become a part of an exciting industry. We’re all struggling and will be for probably a while to come – but I think people still want to buy books, still want to read interesting stories and still want to be entertained. A publishing company is only as big as its readership… and in 2009, this grew massively for Tonto. With a bit of luck, it will continue into 2010 and beyond.

2010: Plans

More books to acquire for 2011, office move, setting up a publishing thing abroad, doing a Tonto course type thing, learn something new at uni, set up another thing in the north west and Yorkshire, be more organised, see if we can get a Burglar’s Dog update (Tonto favourite, still a few kicking around on amazon), set up a petition so Ashley Hames does more on TV, get a car that works, stop being ill, find another band to listen to other than Weller all the time (although he’s got a new album out this year. Get in!), get a new diary and use it, read more books for pleasure, stop worrying about grey hair and drink less coffee.

Thanks for all your support, espesh in 2009. I’ve got a January Sale on the website at the moment selling back catalogue and current titles at ’silly prices’ to free up some space at Chateau Tonto. Feel free to tell everyone you know about it.

Happy New Year!

I’m gutted. I started writing a blog on Saturday morning about the X Factor saying that there’d be a few versions on ‘he gave 110%’. I wish I’d finished and posted it now cos I’d have been so smug. Robbie even mentioned 112%. My reason was to link in with manuscript submissions though. There’s generally a link… I’ve edited this a few times between other work and, as I’m out on my travels today, thought I should send it or it’ll be another week.

I had a novel submission earlier this week and was really touched by the enthusiasm of the writer. I’ll not name him, but he said he’d give 110% in promoting his book. I wanted to reply saying it was a pet hate of mine and that it was physically impossible, but it’s Christmas and all that. It was a bit like listening to a closing dialogue from one of Suralan’s Apprenti (that’s a plural, don’t you know)… and I felt an odd mixture of wanting to chuck a ‘how not to approach a publisher’ rant back at him and I also recognised that he was so keen to see his work in print. I’d probably wrote similar stuff to publishers when I wanted to see all my brilliant words in print. And why not… I knew I’d love to sit there at signings, would travel anywhere for an interview and knew I wouldn’t be an ‘arsey author’ (not that I’ve ever worked with any).

If it’s going to happen, it will. Good books generally get published. Even if they sit around for a bit in a big container marked ‘the slush pile’ in green marker pen in the corner of a publisher’s office, they’ll still get read at some point. One thing I don’t like about publishing is sometimes there is a bit of resentment if you reject someone. I rejected a friend’s manuscript recently and we had a coffee together to discuss why it wasn’t the right book for me. He’s a writer and he understands and I wouldn’t always sit down with someone to go into detail. I had to because I didn’t want him thinking I thought his work was rubbish and also because I still wanted him to send manuscripts my way. It just happened that he sent a good submission in a genre I wouldn’t publish.

I generally know within the first page if it will work - regardless of if the writing is good or bad. It might be the idea behind it, in which case the writing can go through development. The manuscripts are usually rejected because it is probably in a genre I’m unfamiliar with, don’t know enough about, don’t read, etc, etc – therefore I don’t really know the audience. Or that I just don’t think there is an audience for it. I’ve also had a few submissions recently that I’m sure have potential… but again, not my area of expertise. I put one writer in touch with my web designer to road test the book content out as a website and see what kind of feedback and readers they could attract before seeing if it was worth launching as a book. Hopefully it will take off and we can discuss taking it to print. Or he’ll head off to HarperCollins. But at least that’ll mean it was a goer.

Another friend pitched an idea a while ago and sent a manuscript in. It’s good, well written, he knows the target audience and I do, but I’m not exactly convinced it will be a ’seller’. I know he’d easily give 110% in promoting it, but publishing a book is an expensive risk. At the moment I’m 100% impressed with it but 48% convinced it would sell. It has a limited readership really and is specific to an area rather than it having universal appeal. It’s non-fiction, which in many respects is a bit easier to sell.

On average, I get around 30-40 submissions a week now. Not millions, but enough for me not to be able to read them all when working on everything else. If I’m not working I’m sleeping, so submissions have to be read when I get any time off. I’ve promised a few people I’d get back to them ‘by the end of the year’ and now I have a few hundred to get through. D’oh! Even as I was writing this on Saturday another submission came in, right on cue. Looks good as well. And then one last night at around 1am, starting with an opening line of ‘Dear agent’ and I knew that I had to draw a line under reading any further submissions for a bit or risk going insane. Again.

It’s getting harder for new writers all the time. Publishers are cutting back on what they are doing and looking for books they know will sell. It sounds quite obvious, but in these times of economic recession if one title doesn’t do well it can put a publisher out of business. I’ve got next year’s schedule pretty much planned and will have room for one or two that I already considered and will spend more time reading through. Essentially, and as bizarre as it sounds, I’m looking for books for 2011 now. And that’s just a one-man-band outfit. All publishers work like this. And it’s something else writers are up against.

The message here? As ever – don’t give up. A great philosopher called Gary Barlow once said ‘Just have a little patience’ and, as we know, he’s rarely wrong about anything. Now that I’m starting to go through my submissions, I’m seeing more than ever how many writers there are out there with good, publishable manuscripts. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t publish them all. At a guess, there’s close to 400 manuscripts. I read a few pages of some as they came in and know they are very worthy.

The ‘Dear agent’ writer - I replied and told him Tonto isn’t a literary agency in case he’s done similar with his contact research and is sending ‘Dear publisher’ letters out to the wrong people. I said I wouldn’t be interested in reading his manuscript, wished him luck, and then back to work this morning I saw a reply with:

 ’If I can’t get someone who is selling my exact genre to even read a chapter, then maybe I should just hang my hat up and throw in the towel. I will rethink what I am doing here. Thanks for opening my eyes.’

I’d hate the responsibility of saying I’m not interested in reading someone’s work to have put an end to a writing career that hasn’t started. In an email conversation to Caroline Smailes recently I described myself as ‘Simon Cowell’. Maybe I could be the Simon Cowell of publishing rather than the John Blake. It’ll need more thought. Still doable, like. I hope he wasn’t serious about giving up just because of my reply. It’s a cliche but if you can’t handle rejection, you’re in the wrong business. Or another take – if you can’t handle being kicked in the teeth and underpaid, then don’t be a writer.

Think of your submissions as job interviews / job applications. I did. I used to do temp office work to support myself through writing projects and a lot of the time I was knocked back from very basic office work (and other jobs that wouldn’t have crept into my writing time) that I could do standing on my head. Not that I can stand on my head, but you know what I mean. The point here is that I wasn’t the right person for the job, was probably going for the wrong job, wouldn’t have fitted in… there’s so many reasons why they never happened – but none of the reasons were because I wasn’t qualified or couldn’t do it. I didn’t say, ‘Right you temp agency bastards. I’m going to stop temping because of you. Curse you allllllll!’

Publishing deals are like that in a way. Not the right manuscript, not the right time, taking on people with more experience, too many submissions and can’t commit, schedule already planned for the next two years so not recruiting right now… all you need to do in that case is try somewhere else and keep trying until you find the right ‘job vacancy’.

It’s a mad industry to be in. If any publisher knocks you back, take it on the chin and move on. Take the idea or the manuscript somewhere else if you believe in it. If you get to the point where it feels like a dead horse – stop flogging it. Successful writers will also tell you about their bottom drawer with a few manuscripts that they were unable to get placed. It happens – it’s career / writer development. It isn’t failure.

And now I’m off to do a bit of reading…

Just a quick one for now…

Check out the Christmas Sale on www.tontobooks.co.uk- all ‘in stock’ books on spesh for a few days, ending on Saturday (so I’ve got time to send them out for Christmas). Current titles all down to £4.99 including p&p and Sheila Quigley’s novel down to a tenner – signed editions while stocks last.

Please feel free to pass it on – and thanks for anyone who does. Gawd bless ya.

Almost.

Ermmm… Mistletoe and wine.

Been a while since the last blog. Quite a few happenings have been… well, happening.

Update: Even More Tonto Short Stories

It’s a good news/bad news situation. The good news is that it is all going ahead and I’m now having it pitched and presented to bookstore buyers rather than it being released with a ‘whimper’ / selling on the website only. Of course, as you’ve probably sussed already, it won’t have an official release until much further into the future because of that. Before reaching for your mouse and clicking to post disgruntled comments, please hear me out. Feedback on the collection is very good. And, not to dismiss previous Tonto anthologies, this one stands a really good chance of selling into stores. It looks and feels the part and has the content to back it up. I work with an utterly splendid sales company who will be presenting it to bookstores.

At the moment, Tonto is on a roll. November was the company’s best month ever and December looks even better. Other than sales taking off, there’s loads of publicity and ‘nice words’ being said. That means the book can be published, promoted and launched on a bigger and better reputation now. It contains some brilliant stories by up ‘n’ coming writers, established writers and soon-to-be-huge writers. It is too good an opportunity to miss out on. I’ve always believed in supporting writers through collections and this time round everything is in place to do it properly – which has always been the aim. So, sit back and have faith in Uncle Stu.

I know there’s nothing worse than being kept waiting for a publication date. I’ve had it happen to me, but as a publisher, I also understand why. So… to keep up goodwill, I’ll be sending the book out as an ebook to everyone who entered the competition (dare I say it?) in time for Christmas. The physical book will be officially released on 6 May 2010. However, it will be printed long before that – early in the New Year, and all those will be sent out to everyone as soon as I receive them. I’ll be publicising the book in advance of the release and, depending on which bookstores are actually still open in May, we’ll be launching it and promoting as far and wide as humanly possible.

As Leo Sayer once said: ‘Well, I’m a one man band / Nobody knows nor understands.’

It’s a bit like that for me here in Chateau Tonto, only I’m a bit taller with better hair.

Some other stuff: Tonto mentioned in the Bookseller Rights Guide this week.

Showbiz news: Met up with David Peace of ‘The Damned United’ fame last week when he and Robert ‘Dirty Leeds’ Endeacott held a reading in Wakefield. He’s done loads of other books, but everyone always says he wrote TDU. We had a great night… the readings were spot on, even though one of Robert’s new eyes nearly fell out after a few sentences – and I didn’t even walk out when there was ‘all that poetry stuff’ being read out. I’m getting old – must be mellowing out.

And on Monday, I met Keith Allen. Shirley I must be on the spotted page of Heat before the end of the year.

If you happen to be in Leeds tomorrow, Robert will be signing copies of Dirty Leeds, or DL as I sometimes call it, at Waterstone’s, Albion Street. The perfect Christmas present, eh?

We’re in Wakefield tomorrow with Robert Endeacott and David Peace for an author event at the Red Shed in Wakefield! There’s even going to be poetry on, so no doubt I’ll take up smoking and will be outside while that bit is no. No offence, like. And as it’s a CAMRA place, it’ll be full of people who look just like Martin Ellis of Zymurgy Publishing. God, that’s all we need, eh? But I’m still looking forward to it.

David gave Dirty Leeds a plug in The Guardian on Saturday, giving it a heads up as a Christmas recommendation. Nice one, David! Doesn’t get much better dan dat.

And speaking of mentions … Sheila Quigley is AUTHOR OF THE MONTH on crimesquad.com. How cool is that? Eh? How cool, man? Martin Edwards also gives Sheila a good mention here on his blog.

I’ll probably be recovering from my hangover on Friday after Thursday night at the Red Shed, so please watch The One Show on BBC1 at 7pm on Friday, if you can … Charlie Walduck will be on there plugging Slimmer Charlie.

I’ll also be at Waterstone’s in Sunderland on Friday with Sheila from 1pm, if I’m in a fit state to drive.

It’s always great to see the Tyne Bridge as your train brings you back to civilisation in Newcastle… back to normal, wearing a flat cap and working in a coal mine again while drinking Brown Ale.

London was brill. I met with some great people and made some really useful contacts for the future. I’m now in the process of signing up with an international rights agent, met with some brilliant writers as well as two new signings, Simon Donald and Ronnie Le Drew. Both are now in full swing writing their respective autobiographies for publication next year and it was great to catch up with them. Also met with Andrew Crofts, renowned ghost writer, to discuss a few possible projects. Didn’t have time to meet the Queen though.

I met up with my distributor who gave me an update – November has been the best month in Tonto’s short history and it is all down to splendid team work. Obviously it helps to have published some decent books, but it’s all down to the commitment and dedication of the authors and their willingness to do (almost) anything in the name of promotion. Also in these last few months, it’s been the best time for publicity in Tonto’s history: Charlie Walduck has been on TV twice to promote Slimmer Charlie and will be on the One Show this coming Friday too. A Tonto record for the most TV coverage for a book!

Robert Endeacott has done loads of radio, has had excellent press reviews and interviews and is doing an event with David Peace this Thursday in Wakefield. His first print run sold out in two days – another Tonto record.

Sheila Quigley has been doing loads of book signings, had some great magazine coverage and reviews and will be back at Waterstone’s in Sunderland this Friday. And a Tonto record for quickest-selling… 22 books in the first 22 minutes at the first TRTH signing and then selling out at Waterstone’s the same day.

A big thing in the news last week and this week, as briefly mentioned in my last post, is that Borders have gone into administration. It’s sickening. Borders Team Valley were the first store to buy from Tonto – invoice number TON001, and in cruel ironic fashion, my last three invoices to them totalling £1000 will probably never get paid. Grrrrrrrrr. A Tonto record for the most money lost in unpaid invoices by one store!

It isn’t a good time for publishers. I’m sure there’s loads like me who supply direct who are owed a lot more than I am – there’ll be casualties. This is massive  for the industry. Jobs are already going at their head office, they’ll be going at stores, publishers are owed tens of millions… it all causes a ripple and we’re yet to see the full result. It affects a LOT of people and businesses. We can always live in hope and that’s what we’re doing.

Wish I got that Kung Fu Panda thing when I had the chance.

End on a positive: I’m putting stuff together for that writing / publishing weekend seminar in the next few days and will post up on here and the website. Grateful if any bloggers out there fancy posting it up when it happens.